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Utopia

by Reesha Dyer

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1.
Did you come to me looking for sympathy, really? Did you come to me to pour your troubled heart, “He doesn’t love me, what do I do”, oh how hard for you, You’ve come to me before, with this where do I start? Tell me how it feels, my dearest darling love, Tell me how it feels to be discarded, Tell me how it feels to be second best, To spend every day being broken hearted, Tell me how it feels my one and only, To never be cared for except when you are required, To know that someone’s using you but loving them anyway, To watch them add the flames to your burning fire? Did you come to me looking for empathy, really? Did you think I would help you with your grief?, Did you think I would be blind to the irony, honestly? Your self-absorption just denys belief, Tell me how it feels, my dearest darling love, To finally be walking in my shoes, Tell me how it feels to be second best, To know whatever your choices you can only lose, Tell me how it feels my one and only, Tell me like I’m not so painfully aware, Tell me all about these feelings unrequited, Tell me if you Dare. Did you think I would play the nice guy? Take the opportunity to comfort and caress? Use you like you used me? No, I will not suffer your distress, Did you think, that I would be the saviour? Tell you all the things you needed to hear? You came to me too late, i have waited too long now, I will no longer suffer you my dear! Tell me how it feels, my dearest darling love, tell me how it feels to be discarded, Tell me how it feels to be second best, To spend every day being broken hearted, Tell me how it feels my one and only, Tell me like I’m not so painfully aware, Tell me all about these feelings unrequited, Tell me if you Dare.
2.
Utopia 02:22
In a far off land there’s an empty plain Where there’s no rest and there’s no rain, A dusty limbo land, An eternity of sand, And we all end up in that desert some day, But there’s a dirt track in the distance, If you walk along it long enough you’ll find a place to rest, A place perhaps of comfort, a place to rest your weary head, Of milk and honey, and levend bread, You crawl along, your mouth so dry, You lift your weary head to see the sight, An ancient roadside diner, once long ago in trade, Nearly empty, but it might provide some shade, And the neon light flicks on, flicks of Utopia, There’s grease stains on the plastic chairs, But no-one knows and no one cares, There never was, There never will be, And the neon light flicks on, flicks of Utopia, There’s grease stains on the plastic chairs, Who knows, who cares, there's no one there, There never was, There never will be, And behind the counter a woman stands, And the food she serves all tastes so bland, But no one can complain, Why would they, they feel no pain, And it’s better than the desert and the sand, And she always asks, the same old questions, Where are you from, where are you going to, She’ll offer you a drink, some food, she won’t ask to be paid, And if you take it, forever you’ll be forced to stay, And the neon light flicks on, flicks of Utopia, There’s grease stains on the plastic chairs, Who knows, who cares, there’s no one there, There never was, There never will be, And the neon light flicks on, flicks of Utopia, There’s grease stains on the plastic chairs, Who knows, who cares, there’s no one there, There never was, There never will be,
3.
I wonder what it’s like in your shoes, Seeing government as a game of win or lose, Where you’ll happily sacrifice your pawns to save your king But your pawns are living people, who are suffering, I wonder what it’s like to be you, To have been born with that silver spoon, To truley believe you have the right to rule, Because you went to some fancy school, Fuck you, boris johnson, I’m sick and tired of your shit, You fooled around and fooled us all, And now look how the pieces fall, You’ll burn the house so you can loot it’s shell, Fuck you boris johnson, go to hell. I wonder what it’s like, in your head, How do you sleep at night, in your feather bed, Do you count the lies, like other people might count sheep, Do you ever feel the guilt before you fall asleep? I wonder what it’s like, not to care, As long as you’re still getting the lions share, When your desicions affect millions, but it doesn’t bother you, If the people that you lied to, have all been screwed, Fuck you, boris johnson, I’m sick and tired of your shit, You fooled around and fooled us all, And now look how the pieces fall, You’ll burn the house so you can loot it’s shell, Fuck you boris johnson, go to hell. I wonder what it’s like in your shoes, Seeing government as a game of win or lose, Where you’ll happily sacrifice your pawns to save your king But your pawns are living people, who are suffering,
4.
Anger in a beautiful ball gown, She's gonna tear the world down, She's not happy but we're lucky that, Isn't what she wants any more, She knows just how it all goes, Gonna meet a prince, she's seen the show, Riches and love, and the stars above, But the princes they have all shut the door But she'll carve her ending out with a knife, She'll get all that she was promised, And the people she cuts well they should have known, Not to be so dishonest, Cause happy ever after doesn't happen, does it, And no one's gonna catch you when you fall, Better to be bitter, with a beautiful life, Than happy with nothing at all, So she will cut her ending out with a knife, Blind fury with a pretty smile, She wants someone to begile, They say that happiness, cannot be bought this, Could be a another wicked lie Gold digger with a heart of ice, Do you want to pay the price, The fairy tales are gonna pale in, Comparison to her glamorous life, But she'll carve her ending out with a knife, She'll get all that she was promised, And the people she cuts well they should have known, Not to be so dishonest, She thought the world was lovely once, She smiled without a care, But now her smile is as carefully arranged as her hair, She once believed in the power of love, She had a heart, she let it burn, But now her heart's a weapon, That you can win, but never earn, But she'll carve her ending out with a knife, She'll get all that she was promised, And the people she cuts well they should have known, Not to be so dishonest,
5.
They drink from a goblet made of gold, And from it they drink wine 100 years old, And the houses on the edge of the town, Are falling down, And the people said, this isn’t right And the people said, we have the might, To make a change, And now they drink from goblets made of brass, They’ve painted it silver but it won't last, And the people on the edge of the town, Are coming down, And the people said, we have the might, And the people said we’re going to fight, To make a change, And now they all drink from goblets made of glass, Elected people for the working class, But the houses on the edge of the town, Still falling down, And the people said, we have the might, And the people said we have the right, But nothing changed
6.
Boxes 02:56
Staring at the future with nervous laughter, Too scared to love too scared to leave, Holding hands too tightly standing on the edge of the cavern, Between what we want, and what we need, Making choices ticking boxes, WHere are we going what are we doing here, We say we’re happy, but these are not our voices, And all I can feel is fear, Blowing bubbles on my 18th birthday, Acting 7 cause we’re scared to act our age, We know that doing this is gonna get us into trouble, Don’t wanna know the ending so we’re not gonna turn the page, Making choices ticking boxes, Where are we going what are we doing here, We say we’re happy but these are not our voices, And all I can feel is fear, So hold me tight in the night, tell me everything will be alright, Hold me tight, and lie, Oh hold me tight in the night, tell me everything will be alright, Hold me tight, and lie, Making choices ticking boxes, Where are we going what are we doing here, We say we’re happy, but these are not our voices, And all I can feel is fear, I say I’m not scared of the future, But that’s because I refuse to think, Run away with me we can run forever, Always standing on the brink, Making choices ticking boxes, Where are we going what are we doing here, We say we’re happy, but these are not our voices, And all I can feel is fear,
7.
Scars 02:48
They told me time would heal the pain, So I took the spring from every watch, Smashed every hourglass, And threw away the sand, I like the pain it tastes like, Barbed wire and forest fire, Cutting me with red hot steel, The way you used to do, And I don’t want these scars to fade, I don’t want these scars to fade, They are the last of you, And I won’t let you slip away, I don’t want these scars to fade, I don’t want these scars to fade, They are the last of you, And I will not let you slip away, Every time I close my eyes you’re there. Screaming your last breath, If I could then I would sew them shut, Just to be with you again, We danced a spinning dance, Wrath mixed with Blind Desire, Never thought that it could end, I’m not sure if it did, And I don’t want these scars to fade, I don’t want these scars to fade, They are the last of you, And I won’t let you slip away, I don’t want these scars to fade, I don’t want these scars to fade, They are the last of you, And I will not let you slip away, Don’t tell me he’s in a better place, There’s nowhere better than my arms, I will not think positive I will not cope, I will not carry on, And I don’t want these scars to fade, I don’t want these scars to fade, They are the last of you, And I won’t let you slip away, I don’t want these scars to fade, I don’t want these scars to fade, They are the last of you, And I will not let you slip away,
8.
Forever 02:20
I took an office job to pass the time I put the numbers in the boxes and they fit, I should just quit, I should just quit, I took an office job to pay the rent, The work is easy but the coffee's bad, It makes me sad, It makes me sad, I wish I could break free, I wish I could stay here forever, I wish I could break free, I wish I could stay here forever I get up early turned of my alarm, Plenty of time no need to rush, No mess, no fuss, no mess no fuss, I have to leave the house the rain it falls, Get my umbrella but then leave it by the door, Let the rain pour, just let it pour, I wish I could break free, I wish I could stay here forever, I wish I could break free, I wish I could stay here forever I seem to remember, a different me, Who danced and sang how frivolous, What a silly way to be, I think she's somewhere trapped inside, I think it's easier if she is just denied I wish I could break free, I wish I could stay here forever, I wish I could break free, I wish I could stay here forever
9.
She sat by the fence in her petticoats gay, Waiting for her love on a summer's day, You could tell her affection by her countryman's favour, Not by the fact she’d updated on twitter, Oh for those, non-existent times, Written down in verses and rhyme, Where the maidens are bony, and the men they are bold, That kind of romance it never grows old, A young man came courting come down from the city, With roses and lace and garments so pretty, Said I’ll buy you a ring, when I next get paid, Nowadays he’d just buy you a drink and get laid, She always knew she would fall for a sailor, And he would bring presents come home from the sea, My love can’t bring wages home let alone presents, Cause you can’t get a job with an english degree, He said to her madam in your face is beauty, You’re the prettiest maiden I ever did see, She said to him billie you’re the boy I love best, No one says things like that to you and me, I know all of the songs I’ve sung most of them too, Sometimes I hear them when I look at you, But you don’t buy me ribbon to go in my hair, Cause nobody sells it when you go to the fair.
10.
Changes 03:54
The trees change with the seasons, Blossom and the autumn leaves, And in the winter barren branches, And it’s not the way they chose to be, The sky changes, daily, From blue to black, And the clouds they pass over, And you can’t get the old sky back, And I know I’m not the sky, or the trees, And I know you think there is no place for me, But if they can change then why can’t I Be like the river and the trees and the sky? The river you saw yesterday, Is not the river that you see today, It’s different fish, it’s different water, And yet that river’s still the same, Chorus The land that you walk on changes, The birds and the beasts, and the seas, If you can except that you can’t hold all that down, Why can’t I change to be me, Chorus

credits

released May 24, 2020

Thanks to Orla Brandon for the Album art, and Mike Dyer-Evans for putting up with me <3

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Reesha Dyer London, UK

Hello! I'm Reesha, I sing songs and accompany them on the guitar with dubious proficiency. Some of them are funny, some of them are depressing. It's a magical mood lottery!

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